What Is the Butterfly Sex Position?
Basic Description and Setup
Let me just say this up front: the butterfly sex position changed the way I looked at intimacy. It’s one of those positions that’s simple in theory but feels absolutely luxurious in practice. At its core, the butterfly is a form of missionary, but taken up a notch with better angles, deeper penetration, and a whole lot more eye contact.
Here’s the set-up: one partner lies on their back near the edge of a bed, hips just at the edge, legs lifted and spread slightly while the other stands or kneels in front of them for penetration. It’s perfect for vaginal or anal sex, and you can adjust it to suit different needs and bodies.
Why It’s Called the Butterfly
The name might sound sweet, but let me tell you – this position is seriously sexy. The “butterfly” comes from the visual: the partner lying down often has their legs open and elevated like wings unfolding gracefully. It’s sensual, open, and symbolic of delicate vulnerability mixed with complete power. You’re exposed but supported. Open but in control. And that dichotomy? It’s pure fire in the bedroom.
Benefits of the Butterfly Position
Deeper Penetration and Angled Stimulation
One of the absolute best things about the butterfly sex position is the access it gives. When I’m in this position, the angle allows my partner’s body to align naturally with mine, creating ideal penetration depth – without discomfort. That means more stimulation to the vaginal walls or prostate, and a stronger chance of hitting that iconic G-spot or P-spot. And yes, that includes for my plus-size beauties. Positioning at the edge of the bed makes maneuvering way easier regardless of body type.
Enhanced Visual and Emotional Connection
I’m all about eye contact during sex – it’s one of the fastest ways to build intimacy. The butterfly gives you a full front-facing view of your partner. Eye contact, facial expressions, synced breathing – it’s all front and center. This position immediately makes me feel emotionally held as well as physically pleasured. And for partners who love witnessing each other’s pleasure? This one’s a must-try.
Ideal for Slower, Intimate Moments
Yes, you can go rough in this position if that’s your style, but my favorite way to use it? Slow, sensual sex. The setup gives room for tender touches, drawn-out thrusts, and dirty whispers between kisses. Throw in some deep breathing and intentional rhythm, and you’ve got a love-making masterclass.
How to Perform the Butterfly Position
Step-by-Step Guide
- Start with your partner lying on their back near the edge of a bed or sturdy surface, hips aligned right at the edge.
- They bring their knees upward, then let them fall slightly open. Their legs rest loosely on your shoulders or around your waist.
- You (the penetrating partner) stand on the floor or kneel on a pillow for comfort and support, aligning your pelvis with their opening.
- Enter slowly, checking in for comfort and connection. The angle naturally tilts the pelvis upward, creating deeper, more focused thrusts.
- Balance your hands on the bed beside their body or hold their thighs for leverage and closeness.
And there you have it: the butterfly. Simple, impactful, and totally sexy.
Tips for Greater Comfort and Pleasure
- Use a firm pillow or wedge under the receiver’s hips. This elevates the pelvis and takes pressure off the lower back.
- Lubrication is your BFF. Don’t skip this step, especially if you’re planning a slower session or exploring anal play.
- Knee or back pain? Let your legs rest on your partner’s arms or shoulders instead of lifting fully.
- Body size differences? Adjust angle by bending the knees, or pulling the bottom partner farther onto the bed so gravity works in everyone’s favor.
Best Variations and Enhancements
Positions With Pillows and Props
I don’t do penetrative sex without my Liberator Ramp anymore – seriously. Adding a sex pillow or yoga bolster under the hips not only ups the comfort level, but creates a perfect incline for your partner to slide right in at the ideal angle. Even a regular firm couch cushion can make a world of difference.
Ways to Increase Clitoral or G-Spot Stimulation
Here’s my go-to trick: while in the butterfly, use your vibrator (like the We-Vibe Tango) right on the clit during thrusts. Because the hips are elevated and tilted, stimulation lines up perfectly. You can also tilt your pelvis higher, or have your partner aim their strokes upward toward the belly button area to naturally find the G-spot.
Mixing in Toys or Role-Play
This position is a playground for creativity. Try:
- Vibrating Cock Rings – Chic and simple, they offer clitoral stimulation during penetration.
- Blindfolds or restraints – Being at the edge of the bed is perfect for lightly tying hands or ankles with silky ties or underbed straps.
- Dirty talk – Make full use of the eye contact. Describe what you’re doing. How you feel. What you’re going to do next. Trust me. Magic.
Who Will Enjoy This Position Most?
Great for Different Body Types and Experience Levels
There’s no such thing as a “starter-only” sex position, but this one is about as inclusive as it gets. Whether you’re plus-size, dealing with joint mobility issues, or just like a more supported experience during sex, the butterfly works for you.
Not a contortionist? Don’t worry. Everything can be adjusted with a pillow, support wedge, or simply shifting position. Sex is personalization, not perfection.
How It Can Help Build Trust and Intimacy
We often think good sex means performance, but in this position, it’s all about safety and surrender. Why? Because being vulnerable in front of your partner, eye to eye, body fully open… that takes courage. And when you feel safe to do that? The connection deepens tenfold. This is sensual, sacred ground – not just sex.
Common Challenges and How to Solve Them
Adjusting for Comfort and Support
When I first tried the butterfly, I didn’t support my lower back well and let me tell you – I felt it for days. Don’t make my mistake. Put a towel, pillow, or wedge under the hips for support. If your bed is too high, use a bench, ottoman, or even bring the session to the floor with a firm mat and a blanket underneath.
Overcoming Performance Anxiety
Feeling exposed can trigger insecurity – especially for those of us in plus-size bodies. But here’s the truth: you deserve to feel worshipped. Let yourself be admired. Use soft lighting, music, and breath to stay in your body instead of your head. Ask your partner for affirmations. This is about pleasure, not a performance review.
Safety and Communication Tips
Pre- and Post-Play Dialogues
Before diving in, ask: “How are you feeling today?” or “What would feel really good for you tonight?” Sex begins long before the clothes come off. And after play? Create a safe moment to share. A simple “Did you like that as much as I did?” makes intimacy real and lasting.
Respecting Boundaries and Feedback
Stillness is feedback. A change in breathing is feedback. Tensing up is feedback. Always check in before assuming someone’s enjoying themselves. And speak up if something isn’t working for you. Body-positivity includes empoweringly honest communication – and that goes both ways.
Final Thoughts: Confidence, Connection, and Pleasure
The butterfly sex position isn’t about acrobatics – it’s about access. Access to deeper pleasure, stronger intimacy, and greater self-worth inside a body you already have and love.
After working with clients and exploring it myself, I can honestly say this is one of the most underrated yet rewarding positions out there. Whether it’s your first time trying something new or you’re a seasoned bedroom artist, this move gives you range, flexibility, and connection in one gorgeous package.
You deserve sex that feels as good as it looks – and the butterfly might just be your next favorite way to feel deliciously alive and lovingly seen.
