If you’ve ever found yourself daydreaming about shaking things up in the bedroom, you’re not alone. One of the biggest myths I hear all the time as a sex educator is that great sex requires acrobatics or a magazine cover body. Let me tell you right now: that is absolute nonsense. Some of the most pleasure-packed moments I’ve had didn’t come from wild contortion – they came from honest, empowering positions that worked with my body, not against it. Enter the reverse missionary position.
If you’re curious about the best alternative positions to transform your connection and heighten pleasure, I’m letting you in on one of my favorite go-to’s. In this guide, I’m breaking down everything you need to know about the reverse missionary position – why couples love it, how it works for different bodies (yes, including thick, disabled, and flexibility-challenged ones!), and how YOU can make it one of the best tools in your sexy toolbox.
What Is the Reverse Missionary Position?
How It Differs from Traditional Missionary
Traditional missionary is probably one of the first positions many of us were introduced to. You’re on your back, your partner on top. Reverse missionary flips the script.
In reverse missionary, the receiving partner (often the person with a vulva or the one being penetrated) lies on top, chest to chest, facing their partner below. It maintains that close, intimate vibe – but shifts the physical and emotional dynamic entirely.
It’s not the same as cowgirl, either. While cowgirl involves an upright torso and more bounce-type motion, reverse missionary keeps bodies pressed close, with the top partner lying down or slightly lifted using forearms or elbows.
Why It’s Popular Among Couples
Here’s the truth: the reverse missionary isn’t just a novelty. It’s popular because it works.
Couples love this position because it combines the emotional richness of missionary with the satisfying twist of role reversal. It empowers the receiving partner to control depth and pace while keeping physical intimacy incredibly high. And for bodies that need more stability, support, or control? It’s a total win.
Benefits of the Reverse Missionary Position
Enhanced Intimacy and Eye Contact
If you’re like me, you crave connection in your sexual experiences. There’s nothing quite like meeting your partner’s gaze during pleasure. This position gives you *all* the eye contact.
The close chest-to-chest positioning makes kissing, touching, and whispering completely natural. Emotionally, it’s off the charts. For those of us healing our body image, that connection is powerful.
Greater Control for the Receiving Partner
Let’s talk empowerment. If you’re usually in a passive role, reverse missionary hands you the reins without requiring wild strength or flexibility.
You control the pace, the angle, the grind – without needing to bounce or ride. It’s ideal for plus-size folks, people with joint issues, or anyone who wants control without pressure. Use your hips, find your rhythm, and stay grounded without exhausting yourself.
Stimulation and Pleasure Dynamics
Reverse missionary is a game-changer for G-spot and prostate pleasure. Because you’re on top, you can rock your pelvis to create delicious pressure right where it counts.
For clitoral pleasure, this position allows you or your partner to bring a hand between bodies, or use a bullet or suction toy. My personal favorite? Pairing this position with a small pillow under my partner’s hips while I use a curved toy or my fingers. Instant fireworks.
How to Try the Reverse Missionary Position
Basic Setup and Body Placement
Here’s how to get into it:
- The receiving partner straddles their partner’s torso while both lie face-to-face.
- Lower yourself gently until your chest rests against theirs.
- Use your knees on either side of their hips for support. You can prop with your elbows or forearms if you want a little lift.
- If penetration is involved, guide your partner in, then find your rhythm using gentle rocking.
Tips for Comfort and Stability
Comfort isn’t optional – it’s the foundation of good sex. For soft bellies, bad knees, or sensitive hips, try these:
- Use a folded towel under knees for padding.
- Add a wedge pillow under your partner’s back or hips to elevate them.
- Keep a small cushion on either side of their ribcage for extra arm comfort if you’re propping yourself up.
And of course, lube is your best friend. Always choose a high-quality water-based or hybrid lube to make sliding and grinding smoother and sexier.
Communication and Consent
This position may look simple, but don’t skip the check-in. Ask questions like:
- “How does this pressure feel for you?”
- “Want more or less penetration?”
- “Can I try grinding like this?”
Communication keeps this position tuned to your partner’s pleasure – and makes connection even deeper.
Best Practices for Maximum Pleasure
Ideal Angles and Rhythm
Forget pounding – this is a grind. Aim for smooth, controlled circles or gentle rocking. Tilt your pelvis forward or back slightly to change sensation.
If you’re looking to access the G-spot or prostate, slight forward rolls work beautifully. Want deeper thrusts? Shift your hips back a touch and lift yourself slightly using your knees.
Pillow and Prop Use
Pillows = pleasure amplifiers. Don’t skimp.
- Wedge pillows under your partner’s hips = better angle + deeper penetration.
- Body pillows down their sides = more base support.
- Firm cushions under your own knees = happy joints during longer sessions.
Props like Liberator sex furniture can really level up this position and take pressure off both partners.
Using Hands for Extra Stimulation
This position frees up your hands for all the fun extras:
- Clitoral or nipple stimulation (yours or theirs)
- Add a small vibrator between bodies
- Back-of-the-neck caresses (underrated and sexy as hell)
Build your own rhythm. You’re the pilot now – have fun exploring the route.
Common Challenges and How to Overcome Them
Finding the Right Positioning
Sometimes it takes a few tries to find “your” version of reverse missionary. That’s normal. Adjust hip angles, pillow height, and pressure between bodies as you go.
Too much pressure on your arms or chest? Shift your weight to your knees or adjust the positioning with a body pillow under your torso.
Dealing with Flexibility or Height Differences
Got long legs and a short partner? Or vice versa?
Try angling your bodies slightly diagonally across the bed. That extra lateral space can make all the difference.
For larger bodies or limited hip mobility, use a wedge or bolster under your partner’s pelvis to decrease how much you need to lower yourself.
Connecting Through Reverse Missionary
Building Trust and Vulnerability
Being the one on top – especially in this intimate position – can feel emotionally vulnerable.
But here’s the secret: vulnerability is sexy as hell. Being present, taking the lead, letting yourself be seen… it deepens connection tenfold.
If you’ve struggled with confidence in sexual roles that ask you to “perform,” this position invites you to be sensual, grounded, and in control without the pressure of a show.
Enhancing Emotional and Physical Intimacy
Don’t be surprised if this position brings out softness, laughter, or even a few tears. That’s the power of being seen – and of seeing your partner right back.
Eye contact plus full-body closeness creates hormonal magic. You’re flooded with oxytocin, trust hormones, and pleasure. That’s real intimacy, and this position is built for it.
Safety, Comfort, and Consent Tips
Listening to Your Partner’s Needs
Always keep the feedback loop open. Just because something felt good last night doesn’t mean it does tonight. Ask. Adjust. Reconnect.
If something feels off, say so. You’re equals in this experience, and that’s what makes it beautiful.
How to Make Adjustments Mid-Session
Need to shift halfway through? Totally valid. Say something like:
- “Hey babe, can we try placing a pillow under your hips?”
- “Let me prop myself up a bit – my knees are losing steam.”
Make adjusting part of the dance. That keeps momentum flowing while you stay safe and satisfied.
Exploring Variations and Advanced Moves
Adding Toys or Props
This is a wildly toy-friendly position. Try these:
- Clitoral stimulators (like the Dame Pom or We-Vibe Touch X) between your bodies
- Butt plugs or vaginal beads for added fullness
- Remote-controlled vibes (great if your hands are busy!)
Add lube liberally on silicone toys and around openings. Remember, more glide = more ride.
Combining with Other Positions
Want to level up?
- Start with traditional missionary, then roll your bodies so you end on top.
- Alternate between this and side-lying positions for a slower, sensual pace.
- Use a low surface like a couch or ottoman for greater leverage and thrusting control.
Above all, experiment to find what *your* body loves. Pleasure is a personal journey – reverse missionary just happens to be one of the best scenic routes I know.
So if you’re looking for a position that’s intimate, empowering, and deliciously hot for all body types? Reverse missionary is absolutely one of the best out there. Give it a try, explore your own rhythm, and remember: sex isn’t about performing for someone else – it’s about *feeling* amazing in the body you’re in, right now.
