I’m going to be real with you: the first time I heard about the shoulder holder sex position, I thought, “There’s no way my body can do that.” If you’ve ever looked at certain acrobatic positions in the bedroom and thought, “That’s not for me,” trust me, I’ve been there.
But here’s the thing nobody tells you: with the right support, a few smart tweaks, and a little body-positive confidence, the shoulder holder can be not only accessible – it can be downright mind-blowing. This position isn’t just about flexibility. It’s about closeness, intensity, and a whole lot of deep connection.
I created this guide because I want anyone who’s ever doubted their body to know: yes, the shoulder holder sex position can work for you. Let’s break it down, explore some juicy benefits, and make it your new favorite move in the bedroom.
What Is the Shoulder Holder Sex Position?
Basic Positioning and Setup
Let’s start with the basics. In the shoulder holder sex position, one partner lies on their back and lifts their legs toward their head, while the receiving partner supports their thighs or calves, often resting them on their shoulders. Penetration happens from a kneeling or squat-like position over the receiving partner’s hips.
If you’ve tried the missionary position with your legs up before, think of this as the amped-up, more intimate cousin. There’s more depth, more angle – and when done right, a whole lot more pleasure.
Partner Roles and Physical Requirements
The partner lying down doesn’t need to be super flexible, but some hamstring mobility helps. Thankfully, there are ways to modify the angle using pillows and positioning (we’ll get to that). The other partner needs enough core strength and balance to support their weight in a squatted or kneeling position without collapsing onto their partner.
Is it athletic? A bit. But not inaccessible. With a little setup and teamwork, even plus-size bodies or folks with limited mobility can enjoy this comfortably.
How to Safely Perform the Shoulder Holder
Step-by-Step Guide
- Start with the receiver lying flat on a bed or sturdy, padded surface.
- Have them lift both legs toward their chest or beyond, aiming to rest their calves or thighs on their partner’s shoulders.
- The penetrating partner kneels or squats over their hips, facing them. Hands can grip the thighs for additional control and balance.
- Move slowly into insertion. Communication is key here – explore the angle before thrusting deeply.
- Adjust foot positioning, knee angle, and torso lean-in for maximum comfort and contact.
Best Positions for Support and Stability
If squatting feels unstable, modify by kneeling between your partner’s legs instead. Stack pillows under the reclining partner’s lower back to lift the hips and reduce strain on hamstrings or lower back muscles.
A yoga bolster, wedge pillow, or even foam blocks can turn this from an acrobatic challenge into an anchored, supported experience.
Pleasure and Intimacy Benefits
Deep Penetration and G-Spot Stimulation
This position is incredible for deep penetration, especially if your goal is to stimulate the G-spot or prostate. With the legs on the shoulders and hips elevated, the penetrative angle hits *just right.*
Plus, the closeness of this setup can amplify sensations for both partners, especially if you’re using a toy simultaneously, like a bullet on the clit or a plug for double stimulation.
Enhanced Eye Contact and Emotional Connection
Eye contact is almost built into the shoulder holder. You’re so close, so face-to-face, it naturally invites intimacy. I’ve had partners tell me this position made them feel emotionally “seen,” not just sexually satisfied.
If you’re looking for connection, not just climax – this position brings both.
Tips for Comfort, Safety, and Accessibility
Using Pillows and Props
This is where the magic happens for bigger bodies (like mine). Don’t skimp on props. A wedge pillow under the hips gives you the lift you need without relying on your legs or core. Soft bolsters under the knees or back help with flexibility and reduce strain.
If your partner needs more height or balance, a yoga block under each foot during squatting can create needed elevation without taxing thighs or knees.
Modifications for Different Body Types
Larger tummies? Widen the hip angle and spread the knees slightly. Limited flexibility? Rest the legs on your partner’s chest rather than shoulders, or bend at the knees for a relaxed hold. Pregnant? Use more back support and avoid deep compression – stick to shallow, sensual movement.
The key is customizing what feels good for your body today – not forcing your body into a shape it was never meant to fit.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Overstretching or Poor Balance
Don’t force those legs onto shoulders if it pulls or crunches your lower back. That’s a fast track to injury, not intimacy. Start slow; if something doesn’t feel right, stop and rearrange.
And if the top partner is balancing precariously, that’s a safety risk. Find a surface height or kneeling position that makes the act feel grounded, not like a circus act.
Ignoring Communication Cues
I cannot emphasize this enough: talk to each other. Moans, gasps, even giggles – they’re all communication. But also use actual words. If your hip cramps, say so. If the angle hurts, adjust it.
Silence erodes trust. Openness builds better orgasms. Period.
Is the Shoulder Holder Right for You?
Who Might Enjoy This Position
- You love deep, connected eye contact during sex
- You crave angles that stimulate the G-spot or prostate
- You want a mix of athletic dominance and tender closeness
- You enjoy positions where partners feel fully in sync
If even one of these resonates with you, it’s absolutely worth trying.
When to Try Alternatives
If you have severe joint pain, fresh hip injuries, or spinal sensitivities, it may be better to opt for modified positions. Try a pillow-supported missionary or the “pillow bridge” variation, giving you slight elevation with no leg lifting.
Remember, the best position is always the one that feels good today.
Conclusion: Exploring Bold Pleasure with Confidence
The shoulder holder sex position might look like it belongs in a fitness magazine, but here’s the truth: with the right setup, communication, and attitude, it’s for every body.
I’ve helped people of all shapes, sizes, and mobility levels find their own version of this amazing position. And most importantly, I’ve found mine. It’s intimate. It’s powerful. And it makes me feel like a damn goddess.
So if you’re ready to go deeper – literally and emotionally – give the shoulder holder a try. You can enjoy adventurous, empowering sex without limitations.
Your body is already worthy of pleasure. Let’s celebrate that, one sexy position at a time.
